


And leave my greatest failures on display with an asterisk; Worthy of love anyway.

by EWBANH



Series: Crystal Eyes Universe [2]
Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Gen, just hurt/comfort because we all need some pain in our lives, mentions of Walter and Matthew but not direct appearances, rating for cursing and mentions of past injuries, right after kenny ben and sarita meet up in the lodge with walter and matthew, takes place in the same universe as Cover Your Crystal Eyes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 09:03:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14132742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EWBANH/pseuds/EWBANH
Summary: Ben and Sarita have a sleepover- only its in a ski lodge at five in the morning with a bigger pep talk than the two ever imagined.





	And leave my greatest failures on display with an asterisk; Worthy of love anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> For my good friend Ben, who inspires me to be a great writer and an even better friend.

Ben isn’t sure what wakes him. The sound of Kenny’s snores drifting from the other bed or the shaking of his hands from a nightmare where he fell and didn’t get back up.

The teen sat up, his eyes drifting over to the only people he really could trust. The two were still asleep, Sarita’s arm lazily thrown over Kenny’s chest. 

Ben laid back down onto the mattress, sighing to himself. His throat was dry, probably from his own sleep induced screams, yet sneaking out without waking the other two would be impossible.

He felt trapped. 

_ I’m safe. I’m good. I’m at the lodge. Kenny and Sarita are right there. Not Savannah. _ The teen forced out a deep breath, trying his best to calm the thundering beat in his chest. 

_Stop. Stop it._ _You can’t wake them up, Ben. Come on,_ He berated himself. Sweat now dripped down his forehead, despite the cool room. _Deep breaths. Count to ten- like Kenny taught you. One…. Two…. Three…-_

“Ben?” A voice whispered, ripping Ben out of his reverie. 

The teen shot up, looking over to the other bed. 

Sarita was sitting up, her hair a disheveled mess. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes before squinting at the teen. 

“Are you alright?” she murmured, careful not to wake her sleeping boyfriend.

Ben swallowed. He was sure she could see the fear in his face. _ There’s no point in lying. _

He shook his head.

Sarita understood immediately. She slid out from beside Kenny cautiously, successfully making it out of without as much as a flinch from the older man, and shrugged on her coat. She stepped over to Ben’s bed, extending her hand out to the teen.

Ben placed his sweaty, shaking, palm in her hand. 

The sun was still rising as the two made their way into the living room. The sky, still a deep, dark, blue had only a slither of the first pink rays faintly painting the inside of the lodge. Matthew and Walter were nowhere to be found.

Sarita led Ben to the fireplace, letting go of his hand just in front of it before gesturing for him to take a seat on the carpet. She walked away, her footsteps light on the wooden floor as she disappeared into the dark kitchen. 

Ben couldn’t help but feel like an idiot. He was sitting on the carpet in the dark all alone, practically hyperventilating over a nightmare. The fog that clouded his mind only making things worse.  _ So. Fucking. Childish.  _

Sarita returned, an unopened water bottle in hand. She sat on her knees besides Ben, before uncapping the bottle and handing it to him.

Ben took a small sip, the cool water a pleasant surprise against his dry throat. He handed the bottle back before pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. It just made him feel a little less scared.

Sarita took a sip before capping the bottle and placing it besides her. “Let’s just hope Walter and Matthew don’t mind us taking this bottle,”  she spoke, her quiet voice surprisingly loud in the darkness.

Ben managed a tight smile, not looking up from his knees.

“This feels like a sleepover,” She smiled, looking around the empty lodge, “All we’re missing is some hot chocolate. Although the water isn’t too bad.” She stretched her legs out on the ground, leaning back on her hands as she looked out the window.

“I must say, that was one of the best nights of rest I’ve had in a  _ long _ time,” She hummed contently, “Although I could’ve done without Kenny’s snoring. You would think he’d know better than to snore so loudly.” 

A small giggle broke past Ben’s lips, surprising them both. She sent him a warm smile before focusing her gaze back outside. 

A beat of silence passed as the two stared into the wilderness. The calls of different birds now echoed outside as a small cloud of fog made its way through the trees.

“I was thinking of spending the winter here,” Sarita began, her face drawn in contemplation, “I think it’d be best. For all three of us.”

Ben looked over, his brows furrowed.  _ The whole winter? _

“The winter is going to be incredibly cold,” She went on, pulling her coat tighter, “Especially with the mountains ahead and the more north we go.”

Sarita crossed her legs, sitting back up. “Not to mention,” She continued, “Matthew and Walter offered us to stay. This place?” Her eyes flickered around the room briefly before landing back on the teen in front of her. “It’s amazing. We don’t have to be afraid of walkers in here. We have food and shelter to last us the next few  _ months _ !”

She sighed, looking back over to Ben again. “I don’t know. I have to run it by Kenny before I get too caught up in the idea” She murmured, shaking her head slightly, “Although, you’ve always been a great listener too, Ben.” 

“T-thanks,” The teen croaked out, clearing his throat as the tips of his ears turned a deep shade of red.

Sarita’s lips stretched into a wide smile, paired only with the soft look that Ben didn’t think he deserved.

The seconds bled into minutes as the two sat in silence, watching the bright sun spread into the previously dark sky. 

“Are you feeling better?” Sarita hummed, looking over to the teen. 

“Yeah,” Ben replied quietly, not quite meeting her eyes.  _ Because of you. _

“Good.” She smiled, placing a hand over the teens wrist and squeezing gently. Another beat of silence passed.

“You know, Ben, there is nothing wrong with being scared.”

Ben tensed up.

“It’s okay,” Sarita continued gently, “No matter what anyone says. Fear and compassion separate us from the walkers.”

Ben hesitated before nodding slowly.  _ Sure. If you have real fears. Not nightmares about your own stupidity _ .

“Even if that fear might not seem scary, ” Sarita went on, meeting Ben’s eyes,“ It doesn’t make you weak. You’re the  _ farthest _ thing from weak, Ben.”

Ben’s bright blue eyes stared into Sarita.  _ Its now or never. _

“I fell off a balcony and almost died.”

Sarita blinked, reeling back. “W-what?”

The teen swallowed the fear building in his throat. “In Savannah, before I met y-you. I fell off a balcony and got impaled when I hit the ground.”

Sarita’s eyes widened as they searched the teen’s body briefly, before meeting his eyes.

“I almost died- I was  _ supposed _ to die. No one should survive that kind of injury,” He revealed quietly, “I got lucky. And by lucky I mean Kenny. He saved my life. I owe him everything.” Ben took a deep breath.

“I haven’t been okay with h-heights since,” He continued, not looking at Sarita, “I either freeze up or lose my grip.”

Sarita’s hand lingered over Ben’s. “Where…?”

The room drowned in silence, only the rustle of a sweater and a sharp intake of breath dared to disturb it.

“Kenny stitched me up in the middle of a kitchen. There’s a matching one on my back too,” Ben explained, lowering his sweater, “It’s how I got the limp.” 

“It’s- It’s just so  _ stupid, _ ” He whispered, agony dripping into his voice, “Of all the stupid, childish, and weak things to leave me practically paralyzed it had to be heights. I’m already weak without the fear but now-”

“ _ Benjamin you are not weak! _ ” Sarita interrupted, a dangerous edge to her words. 

Ben’s flinched on impulse, his eyes shooting up in surprise. No one called him  _ Benjamin _ .

“You are  _ so _ strong. You have grown and learnt so many things in the time I’ve known you. You survived so much and fight your fears every single day and yet you still maintain a good heart,” She continued fervently, “So many people in this world have lost who they are but you- you haven’t. That makes you stronger than anyone else.”  

Ben couldn’t fight the wetness in his eyes. “ _ Sarita… _ .”

Sarita’s warm arms engulfed Ben, pulling him to her chest as her fingers gently carded through his hair. 

“You’re allowed to be scared Ben, terrified even. But you are never,  _ never _ weak.”

Ben melted into the hug, warmth blossoming in his chest as his arms pulled her closer. 

The two sat together, wrapped in one another's arms, allowing themselves a moment to be vulnerable. A moment for their pain and tears to flow.

Sarita pulled away, sniffling slightly as she searched the teen with her soft eyes.

“I’ve told Kenny this before,” She began gently, “I like to think family is what you make it.”

“And you two,” She continued, a small smile on her lips, “From the moment I ran into Kenny limping on side of a highway and you hovering over him like a hawk, I knew you two would become my new family.”

Ben beamed, a small laugh bubbling out of him. He wiped his eyes on his sleeve before meeting her gaze. “You’re family Sarita,” he chirped, “No doubt about it.”

Sarita laughed, resting her head on his shoulder. The two sat in a peaceful silence for a few moments, enjoying the new, warmer air.

“I never thought I’d have time to sit and watch the sunrise in this new world,” Ben spoke, the beginning of a yawn pulling at his lips.

“Me either,” Sarita agreed, her gaze not wavering from the outside, “It’s just as beautiful as I remember.”

“Yeah,” Ben murmured, a quiet air surrounding the two. 

Sarita broke the silence, raising her head to face Ben. “You should head back to sleep, sweetheart.”

Another yawn broke past the teens lips, despite his fight against the rising exhaustion. “Are you coming back up to sleep?”

“I’m not tired anymore,” She answered with a shake of her head,“I think I’m going to wait around until Walter and Matthew wake up.”

“You sure?” Ben looked around the empty lodge, “I don’t want to leave you all alone.”

“Go ahead Ben,” Sarita smiled, pushing him upwards, “They’ll be up any moment now. You go ahead and catch some sleep.”

“Okay,” Ben gave in, knowing when to pick his battles, “I’ll see you soon.”

“Sleep well,” Sarita called to his back, a warm smile evident in her voice.

The teen made way to the bedroom quietly, sliding into his bed as gently as he could before relaxing into the cool yet comfortable mattress. The sound of movement from the adjacent bed sent his body still. 

Kenny turned onto his side, cracking his eyes open to look at the teen through the darkness.

“Duck….?" The older man rasped, squinting at the teen, "You alright?”

Ben flipped onto his side, mouth agape as he stared at the older man for a moment. “Y-Yeah, go back to sleep,” he mustered, a newfound lump in his throat.

Kenny hummed, seemingly content, before falling back asleep.

Ben stared for another moment before flipping onto his back and relaxing once more into the bed.  _ I could get used to this… _

He falls asleep soon after, the weight on his shoulders just a bit lighter.


End file.
